Friday, November 2, 2007

Dear Church Choir,

You complain more than any group of people I have ever seen in my life. And that's hardly an exaggeration. In fact, I don't think I've seen such consistent group protest since my 6th grade gym teacher told us we'd start every class by running laps. We spend two nights a week in practice, 70% of that time spent whining about practice. Well, I don't know how to say this need to practice. Have you heard how we sound? Sure, God loves a voice lifted in song for His sake, but your near-absence of effort and constant objections make baby Jesus cry.

Do any of you remember the last time that you did something inspired? ...ok, perhaps that's over the top...after all, what other opportunity is there to be recognized as the exemplary Catholics that you are from amongst your church commmunity. But I've got to tell you, friends, nobody is watching because they are the headlining stars of their own Catholic show. Don't you know that?

In the end, you thought that you found your meal ticket in the mala know, someone whom you could take under your wing and use, but the result is less than that and I know that it's frustrating and prompts dreams of secret sabbotage. But have faith. I'll keep going to practice....working my way through the songs. And you should, too. Just quit acting like dinosaurs. We still have a chance to make a silk purse from a sow's ear if you'd start putting as much passion into the music as you do into complaining.